Coyne Operated: Debbie's Wedding

On March 30, the day before Easter, a new union was formed when Mike's youngest sister, Debbie, married Tennessee's own Michael Hanlen. Michael has been a welcome addition to the family, though he has taken considerable ribbing from the Coynes, being from the south and being a St. Louis Cardinals fan.

Debbie and Michael held their wedding at the breathtaking Chatham Bars Inn on Cape Cod. The pictures below don't do the place justice. It is gorgeous. And what made the weekend perfect was that the weather was glorious -- quite a feat on a New England weekend barely a week into spring.

Debbie asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, which made the weekend even more special for me. But even with the picturesque scenery, perfect weather and the company of wonderful family and friends, nothing could completely make up for the one thing that was lacking -- our beloved Mike. His absence was keenly felt by us all, and although there were many reminders of him that filled the weekend, his physical presence was what was needed. I had always looked forward to the day when Mike and I would be members of a wedding party together, and this would have been the day. I knew that I wouldn't get to walk down the aisle with him (which we hadn't done since our own wedding), be introduced with him or dance with him. I felt such an emptiness, and yet I wanted Debbie and Michael to have the best day possible so I tried to focus on the joy of the event.

The ceremony was officiated by cousin Elaine Murphy. Mike's well-worn Bible sat on the table behind the bride and groom as the ceremony took place. Debbie had Mike's Celtic cross necklace wrapped around her bouquet. And the last of the three readings was a poem written by Mike several years ago, read by family friend Frank Pumphret. (This was also the poem I read at Mike's interment last May.) Mike wrote the poem about man and woman, why they need each other and how their love is a living example of God's love and the paradise to come in Heaven. It was amazingly fitting, and it was the one moment of the ceremony that made the tears too much to hold back. I wasn't alone in my tears.

Afterwards, at the reception, I was able to catch up with so many family and friends, many of whom I hadn't seen since Mike's funeral. They were all very concerned with how I was doing and I still felt their love and support. That meant the world to me. I shared a few quick words during the toast, saying that eight-and-a-half years ago I was blessed to have married into this amazing family when I found my Michael, and now Debbie was equally as blessed to have found her Michael. Following dinner, there was a special ceremony on the beach, where we all lit paper lanterns that were printed with the "M.P.C. Perseverance"/Celtic cross logo. The wind was blowing out towards the ocean, and as each lantern was finally lit, they drifted up and off towards the water in a beautiful tribute. Meanwhile, just inside, the DJ played the Led Zeppelin songs, "Stairway to Heaven" and "Thank You." Word around the inn was that people up in the hotel were transfixed on the beautiful scene.

After dancing the night away at the reception, the party moved down the street to The Squire tavern. We had lots of laughs, danced, drank and celebrated life. I even got asked to line dance.

The next day was Easter, and after some brunch and watching the kids hunt for Easter eggs on the beach, I helped Debbie back up their suite and get ready to head home. Before leaving the hotel, Debbie took a few flowers from her bouquet and created a little boutonniere for Mike, which I brought to the cemetery the following day and placed on his grave. (It's still so unbelievable to me to say those words.)

We all experienced a wonderful weekend of family and togetherness. It was just another marker of how life goes on, even in our grief.