Coyne Operated: Interwoven

In early January, Mark and I made a much overdue -- and much anticipated -- trip to Massachusetts. I had waited for too long to introduce Mark to my New England family and friends, including my in-laws. I wasn't sure how to prepare for the trip, nor did I know how to approach the awkward nature of such a meeting, but I was eager to bring together the two parts of my life.

We started the weekend by having dinner with my cousin, Marlene. It was a nice, relaxing start to the trip, and I hadn't spent much time with Marlene since our days of getting together to support each other in missing our lost loves. The following day brought a more difficult visit, as we went to Mass General so I could visit with the staff and show Mark where Mike and I spent so much of our time. What I planned on being a quick visit turned into over an hour of catching up and reminiscing. I saw Mike's primary nurse, Karen, and primary physician, Dr. Ballen (as well as several of our other favorite nurses), and the Cox 1 receptionist, Fay. As always, the funny Mike stories were plentiful, and I was sure to bring the staff a couple jars of Grillo's pickles -- a favorite snack that Mike and I brought to the gang several times. I also brought Fay a special present -- a stuffed Dory doll, a nod to the chronically forgetful "Finding Nemo" character which Mike claimed was just like Fay. As always, it was difficult being there, but I have made a point of returning there to stay in touch with our beloved friends. It was also crucial for me to let Mark see the place that was at times like our second home.

After leaving the hospital, we swung by Fenway Park so Mark could get a look at his rival's ballpark, then we dined at Sweet Cheeks barbeque restaurant on Boylston Street with my Arlington/Cambridge cousins. Later that night, we left the cold outdoors for the.... cold indoors, where we met my friend Alyssa for drinks at Frost Ice Bar. Yes, everything is made of ice. We lasted less than an hour, but it was a pretty cool experience (no pun intended).

The next day was the big day. Saturday was the day Mark met the Coynes. Mom and Dad C., were in Naples and Anthony was working, but we got to see everyone else. We met at a restaurant near AnnMarie's house and had a nice lunch where we talked and they all got to know each other a bit. Mark wanted to break the ice from the start, and did so by telling the girls how sorry he was about Mike, as well as acknowledging how awkward this must be for everyone. It was strange watching my sisters-in-law chat with my fiancé, a fiancé who was not their brother. For the first time since I met them nearly 14 years ago, I felt a strange distance from everyone, though it was nobody's fault. I think it just goes with the territory of adjusting to new and unfamiliar circumstances. I held in a lot of tension that had been building, and it came out as I burst into tears as soon as Mark and I got into my car. All of these firsts take some getting used to, and I know that time will make things easier.

On Sunday, it was time to head back to New York, but not before we drove to Scituate so I could show Mark more of my second home. I drove him around town where I showed him our old house, the harbor, the high school, the lighthouse and a bunch of other places that were part of our life in Scituate. No trip would have been complete without a Maria's sub, which Mark enjoyed and to which he gave a thumbs up.

Before getting lunch with John and Denise, and then heading back home, we stopped at the cemetery. I brought Mark to Mike's resting place, where we stood and got teary-eyed, and where Mark told Mike that he would take good care of me. How blessed I have been to have two wonderful men who love me and look after me. And how blessed I am to be able to weave together all the parts of my life into a tapestry of love and family.